Lets Talk About Anxiety and Depression

This post is a little out of my norm. This blog is usually about my travels and the cool experiences I have. I have not posted in a long time. I want to talk about something very serious and something very close to my heart - mental illness. My thoughts are a little jumbled as I write this, so hopefully you can follow along. 

In the past year or so, suicide has been very prevalent in my community. I had an aunt try to commit suicide last year. Several high school students have committed suicide. There is a suicide club at a local elementary school and a sixth grader committed suicide. A close friend of mine's brother-in-law committed suicide and left a wife and two little babies. It has become such a common topic in my life and it makes me so sad. People are always saying how selfish it is and how terrible it is for the people they leave behind. It's true, it is selfish and it is terrible. But when people commit suicide, there are other factors that most people don't consider. For the most part, the people committing suicide have mental illnesses that preclude them from thinking rationally. They think "I'm such a burden" or "they would all be better off without me" or "no one cares about me, so why does it matter?". These are real thoughts that people who suffer from anxiety and depression have. 

So let’s talk about it. Even in today’s world, there is such a stigma about anxiety, depression, and suicide. I’ve heard “just get over it” or “it can’t be that bad” or “it’s just all in your head”. Honestly, I used to be one of those people. Before I understood it, I thought people just used it as an excuse and that they just need to rub some dirt on it! But would you say “rub some dirt on it” to someone who just broke their leg? No. Just because you can’t see the ailment doesn’t mean it’s not there. 

Growing up, I thought if you committed suicide, you were going to Hell. And to be honest, I'm not sure where that came from. If you try to find that in the Church of Jesus Christ' of Latter Day Saint's doctrine, you won't find it. There is very little information available to us on what happens to people in the afterlife that commit suicide in this life. I think that concept originates from Catholic beliefs. In the Church, the place called "Hell" doesn't even exist. There are the three kingdoms of glory (Celestial, Telestial, and Terrestial) and then there is outer darkness. And to be honest, I think out of all the billions of people who have lived or will live on this earth, there will be only a small handful that go to outer darkness. I can't picture someone who commits suicide, someone who is in such physical and mental pain, being banished to "Hell" or outer darkness. I can't imagine our loving and merciful Heavenly Father punishing someone like that. I imagine them being enveloped in the arms of our Savior, finally being free of their ailments. I am in no way taking light of this situation. Suicide is NOT the answer and should NOT become a habit in our society. Just because we don't believe in "Hell" and we don't necessarily know where the people who commit suicide will go in the afterlife does NOT mean we should do it or encourage it. I don't have all the answers. All I know is that our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love us, they want us to return to them, and they want us to be happy. 

Anxiety and depression is completely irrational. I know in my head that what I’m thinking and feeling is not right, it's not normal, but that doesn’t make me not feel or think those things. Though I think I’ve had anxiety my whole life, it became especially apparent during my senior year of college. I was working full time, taking 15+ credits, and working on my senior project. It was an insane and stressful time in my life so it was no wonder that I was pushed over the edge. I remember the night I had my first anxiety attack. I was getting ready for bed, brushing my teeth. I started to think of all the things I had to do for school and I just started spiraling. I started hyperventilating. My chest felt heavy. I was sobbing and couldn’t get control. I sat on my bed rocking and hugging a pillow. I felt crazy, I felt like something was wrong with me. It took all the energy I had to reach over and call my brother. I asked him for a priesthood blessing. He came down to my apartment with my parents. This was a new thing for all of us. My dad and brother gave me a blessing and I felt comfort. This was my first panic attack, but definitely not the last. 

Anxiety and depression come in many forms. It’s different for everyone. I don’t know what you’re going through and you don’t know what I’m going through. I’m going to try to describe it to you. When I’m alone, I want to be with people but when I’m with people, I want to be alone. I want to do something but I’m too tired to do it. I have trouble sleeping. I’m constantly worrying. Not necessarily about what people think of me. I know that I am a daughter of our Heavenly Father. I have individual worth and know who I am. But I worry about how people are going to react to things that I say. I apologize for things that aren’t in my control and weren’t my fault. When people don’t respond to texts, I think they are mad at me or something I said offended them, when in reality they probably just don’t have their phone with them or something. I have certain triggers that set me off such as being on a boat (that’s a long story). I go through ups and downs, depending on what is going on in my life currently. There are times where I feel right, where I feel normal, where my medication and my body are working together to fight my anxiety and depression. Then there are times when I don't want to get out of bed, when all I want to do is eat, when it is physically hard for me to get up and take a shower. 

I’ve heard many “remedies” for anxiety and depression. There is the more natural way - meditation, herbal supplements, exercise, dieting, seeing a therapist. You can treat it with medication but people are scared of that. People are scared of the side effects and getting addicted. I think a big part of the stigma of anxiety comes with the medication. If it works for you, great! It’s your choice. If you choice to go the more natural way, that’s great too. You need to find something that works for you. Find balance. Don’t let anyone tell you that what you are doing to treat your anxiety is wrong or that you need to try their way. Find something that works for you and stick with it. 

I know that anxiety and depression are some of the trials I was given when I was put on this earth. I know I am never given anything that I cannot handle without the Lord’s help. I like to think of us all in Heaven lining up at kiosks to pick our trials. Some people see cancer and think "oh ya I could handle that", while others pick addiction or poverty or other trials. I imagine myself selecting anxiety and depression, thinking yes, I am strong enough for that, I can handle that. I can do all things in Christ, who strengthens me. Now, as I'm on earth and living my mortal adventure, I sometimes regret that decision. But then I think of what other people go through and the pain and heartache they feel, and I am grateful for my challenges. 

I personally have never had thoughts of suicide, but I have had my fair share of anxiety and depression. The one I usually suffer from is anxiety, but I have experienced more depression in the last few months. After my friend told me about her brother-in-law that committed suicide, I went into a depressive spiral. I was questioning God. I was asking Him why He would continue to put my friend through so much, she is such a good person and has already been through so much pain. My dad came over and shared some good advice with me - God plays chess, not checkers. He knows what He is doing and where He wants us to be. Yes, we have our agency and yes, we make our own choices. But God will place different people in our lives and different challenges to test how we will choose to handle them. 

If you think about it, the amount of people who suffer from anxiety, depression, and other mental illnesses has really skyrocketed in the last 20-30 years. Yes, it has always existed, whether it was diagnosed as a mental illness or not. But why has it become so prevalent in today's society? I think a huge part of it is social media and smart phones. We have fallen into this pattern of constantly comparing ourselves to others. People usually only post the good stuff. They post a beautiful selfie or an immaculately clean house or their children getting along perfectly or a flawless dinner they cooked. You can't tell me that that is what their life really is. Behind that picture of the flawless dinner, there is a huge stack of dirty dishes. Or two seconds after the picture was taken of the kids getting along, they are fighting and pulling each other's hair. Life isn't perfect, so I don't understand why we make it look like it. I know my life sure isn't perfect. There is currently a pile of clothes on the floor of my closet, I haven't showered in two days, my bank account has less than $100 in it even though I just got paid, and I'm laying on my couch typing this when I should be getting ready for church or reading my scriptures or something more worthy of my time. I personally didn't get a Facebook until I was 19. I didn't get an Instagram until like two months ago. I grew up with a flip phone. Thankfully my parents were wise and didn't think we needed anything else. I always thought, oh I don't need social media. But then once I got it, it has consumed my life. I always use the excuse that I have to be on it because of my jobs, I am in charge of the social media so I have to be on it. Or I have to be on it to stay in touch with the sisters I have stewardship over as part of my church calling. Nope. Those are excuses. There is no reason why I should be wasting my time staring down at my phone when I could be having real conversations with real people and having real life moments. Our smart phones have become crutches. And those crutches are leading us to comparisons and those comparisons are leading us to thinking we aren't good enough and no one needs us anymore. THIS HAS TO STOP! We need to start having real experiences again. We need to spend quality time with each other without the constant smart phones between us. We need to get out in nature and make time to be mindful and reset ourselves. We need to read more and watch TV less. We need to stop letting social media and smart phones consume our lives. 

I am not a doctor. I am not a trained professional. I am not a well-versed speaker on the subject of mental illness. But I have had a couple years of experience dealing with it. And I have seen its effects on many family members and friends. So here is my advice. Feel free to ignore it or feel free to take it. These are just some things that have worked for me. 

- Discover where your focus is. President Russell M. Nelson said, "The joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives." Your circumstances might totally suck. But I've met people in the lowest of circumstances who are the happiest people and that is because their focus is on what's important - the Savior Jesus Christ. They have faith that if they keep Jesus Christ at the center of their lives, things will work out. 

- Surround yourself with good people that make you feel good. I am so incredibly blessed to have the family and friends that I do. They are everything to me. When I am down and feel like nothing in the world can make me happy again, my mom gives me a hug or my friend cracks a joke and I see a sliver of light at the end of the tunnel. People love you. People care about you. Your Savior loves you and wants you to be happy. 

- Find something that works for you. Whether it be meditation or medication, we have so many amazing remedies and tools that can help you through your mental illness. Don't get caught up in the stigmas. Medication is ok. Therapy is ok. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Personally, I am on two medications to help with my anxiety and depression. It is not a cure but it helps me compartmentalize when I'm acting crazy and tell myself "that is an irrational thought, knock it off." Find something that works for you and stick with it! Never think that you are a lost cause. There is help. Suicide is NOT the answer. Talk to someone. Things are going to be ok. 

- SERVE! Get outside of yourself. Forget yourself and go to work. I know this can be hard. I know that when you are in an anxiety or depressive ridden state, you don't want to do anything. So getting up and going to help someone else can be really hard. But do it! Not only will it help you feel better, it will help you realize that maybe your life isn't as bad as you thought and will give you perspective. 

- Rely on the Savior! Jesus Christ has been through everything you are going through, He has thought every thought you have, has felt every pain you have. He is the only person in the world that can empathize with you perfectly. Rely on Him!. Elder David A. Bednar said, "You and I in a moment of weakness may cry out 'no one understands, no one knows.' No human being perhaps knows. But the Son of God perfectly knows and understands, for He felt and bore the burdens before we ever did." Let Him carry you! I have had many experiences where I just let go and let my Savior carry me through. He will make everything ok. Earth has no sorrow that Heaven can't heal. 

I hope this made sense, at least a little bit. And I hope my ramblings help someone. I don't know why I decided to write this and I have no idea if anyone will even read it, but I felt like it was important to share my thoughts on this important subject. Let's stop skirting around the subject. Let's openly discuss mental illnesses and suicide. Let's end the stigmas and the stereotypes. The more we talk about it, the more comfortable people will get with it and the more people will be able to help those who are suffering. 

I testify that the Lord loves us, He has a plan for us, He will help us through it. Things are going to be ok. As Elder Jeffrey R. Holland so eloquently put it, "Don't you give up. Don't you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead. It will be alright in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come." You are never too far gone. The Savior's grace covers you at every high and every low. I promise you that if you let Him in, your life will be changed for the better. Sister Linda S. Reeves shared, "I do not know why we have the many trials that we have, but it is my personal feeling that the reward is so great, so eternal and everlasting, so joyful, and beyond our understanding that in that day of reward, we may feel to say to our merciful, loving Father, 'was that all that was required?' I believe that if we could daily remember and recognize the depth of the love that our Heavenly Father and our Savior have for us, we would be willing to do anything they asked to be back in their presence again. What will it matter what we suffered here, if in the end, those trials are the very things which qualify us for eternal life and exaltation in the kingdom of God with them." I second Sister Reeves testaments and say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Redeemer, amen. 

Day 3: January 21, 2018 - A Peeing Statue, a Stupid Train Station, and Dirty Chocolate

We got up around 8:00 the next morning. We packed up and got ready. We left our bags in the BnB and headed out to find Mannekin Pis. We stopped at a little bakery and got a croissant and a hot chocolate (it wasn't very good). We walked over to the Grand Place again. We wandered around trying to find the peeing little boy. We heard some bells so we went over to find where they were coming from. Turns out they were coming from St. Michael and St. Gudula's Cathedral. It was freaking huge. It reminded me a lot of Notre Dame. 

After wandering around a little longer, we finally decided to follow some Asians and they led us right to Mannekin Pis. If all else fails, follow the Asians. Mannekin Pis was a lot smaller than I thought. We fought the Asians and got some pictures. 

We went back to the Grand Place and took some pictures. Sam informed me that I had to be a good Instagram husband. Seeing as I got a Facebook only 5 years ago, I didn't know what an Instagram husband was. Apparently it just means that I have to be willing to lay on the ground and do random weird stuff to get good pictures of her. I think I did pretty good. 

I did pretty good on the jumping picture! My sisters should be very proud of me. 

We headed back to the BnB. On the way back, we found out that Van Gogh tried to be a Protestant pastor at Sainte Catherine's but couldn't handle it. Way to go man. Maybe that's why he cut off his ear? We got all our stuff and headed back to the train station. We were grateful we were only in Brussels for that short of a time, we saw all we wanted to see. 

There were old Christmas trees on the street everywhere. I thought they were funny. Christmas had been over for almost a month. Get it together Belgium people. 

Our BnB door. 

Finding the right train was a pain (that rhymed) and we almost missed it, or we thought we did. The train station was really confusing. We finally found it and headed to Bruges. We took a bus to our stop at Astrid (or Astird as Michael from The Office says it). We couldn't check into our BnB until 3:00 so we stopped and got some lunch at a burger place. 

Our BnB was just around the corner with a nice view of a canal. Our reservation said we were on the second floor. Lies. It was more like the third floor and up some super steep stairs. My life flashed before my eyes every time I had to walk up or down them. Our room was really weird. The bed and the toilet were on the bottom and then you had to climb a ladder to get to the sink and shower. The toilet was in a little closet where your knees touched the door when you were sitting on the toilet. It was really strange. It wasn't as nice as the one in Brussels. Oh well. It was cheap and we had a cute little view. 

We took a little nap until around 5:00 because we were so tired. We headed out on the town and discovered a lot of things were closed, either because it was dark or because of the time of year. We stopped by one of the many chocolate shops and got some chocolate. I have never seen so much chocolate, in so many different flavors and shapes. In the back of the store, they had some inappropriately shaped chocolate. I was dying. 

We walked around for a while and then found a place for dinner. I was really craving chicken and mashed potatoes and I got it. Bruges is pretty pricey - we spent like $60 on dinner. But it was good. We headed back to the BnB, played cards, and watched Netflix. 

Day 1-2: January 19-20, 2018 - Planes, Trains, and Waffles

Our flight on the 19th left at 11:30 in the morning. My parents took us up to the airport. I had my last Sodalicious for two weeks in the car. Sam had a lemon water (I questioned our friendship at that moment). When I asked my parents what they wanted me to bring them back, my dad requested brussels sprouts from Brussels. My bag got searched (are you shocked?) because of my baby powder. I just told the lady it is for all my chaffing needs. We flew to San Francisco first (why we had to fly west to fly east, I'll never know). We grabbed some food on our short layover. 

Our flight to London wasn't very full. I tried to find a row to myself but no luck. Sam and I at least had a row to ourselves though. I pretty much watched Luther and The Crown that I downloaded on Netflix the whole flight. There was an Asian movie on the plane screen called Let Me Eat Your Pancreas - what the heck? We had some lovely airplane food. It was like this Asian chicken. It was nasty and made me sick. I only got about an hour of sleep during the whole flight. The flight was like 9 or 10 hours. 

We landed in Heathrow and went through customs (the line was forever long). We caught the Piccadilly Line to St. Pancras Station. We past our old stomping ground South Ken. I really wanted to get off and go check it out but I just had to keep reminding myself we were going to come back. I did get to laugh at the tube stop Cockfosters because I'm a child. We got a sandwich at the grocery store at the train station (I had a little deja vu - it was the same little grocery store I had gone to back in 2012 with my sisters) and we went through security on the Eurostar. The Eurostar took a couple of hours to get to Brussels. 

Sam indulged me by taking stupid pictures like this. She's a good sport. 

We pretty much slept the whole time. Once we got to Brussels, we took the metro to the Sainte Catherine stop where our BnB was. While we were waiting for the metro, there was a protest going on and a bunch of military guys with huge guns - that's something you want to see on the metro. Our BnB was just down a little alley from the Sainte Catherine Cathedral. We met our host, Karina, and she let us into the house. She was super nice. It was a super cute place too. There was a living room, a kitchen, and a bathroom downstairs with the bedroom upstairs. There was a creepy skylight thing that we were nervous to walk over. The bathroom was small but nice. We each took a quick shower to clean off 24 hours of travel and airplane on us. 

We headed out to explore the city a little bit. It was raining and pretty cold. We got a better look at the  Sainte Catherine Cathedral and walked over to the Grand Place. It was super cool. We stopped by an ATM to get some cash out to get a waffle. I got a caramel one, it was scrumptious. 

It was cold and we were tired so we went back to the BnB. We tried to stay awake as long as we could. Sammie entertained me with some dancing. We went to bed around 8:00 which was a mistake because we woke up around 2:00 in the morning for an hour or two. Gotta love the jet lag. 

The Adventures of Sammie and Chawch - Europe January 2018

Hello again! Life is good. Crazy, but good. Since graduation, I've just been working and hanging out. I got called to be the Relief Society President in my YSA Ward in September. It's definitely been a growing experience for me but it's been good. It keeps me busy. I debated changing the name of my blog to the traveling, swearing Relief Society President but I refrained. My brothers, CJ and Wes, both got married a couple of weeks ago. Wes and Diana got married on February 2nd, and CJ and Mikayla got married in Florida on February 17th. My nieces and nephews are still as cute as ever. I live with the best roommates ever and spend lots of time with family and friends. Like I said, life is good.

Now to the good stuff. Ever since I caught the travel bug about eight years ago, I can’t seem to stay in Utah for more than three months at a time. Not that I don’t love Utah, it’s a great place to live. I guess I just get sick of the monotony of it all. So one day back in the summer, my friend Sam (you’ll remember her from my study abroad days) and I bought a flight. We had been talking about going back to London for ages and finally decided we were going to make it happen. I had been getting emails from Scott’s Cheap Flights for a while but when London for $400 started popping up, we couldn’t pass that up. I believe my study abroad flight was either $1300 or $1700. Either way, $400 was much cheaper. So we booked. 

We decided on England, Amsterdam, and Belgium, leaving January 19th and coming home January 31st. Neither of us had done Europe in the winter so this was new. We also decided to go full AirBnb. I have never stayed in one but Sam had. They are cheaper than hotels but nicer than hostels, and more private too. The plan was to leave on the 19th, fly into London on the 20th, take the Eurostar to Brussels, stay the night of the 20th in Brussels, take a train to Bruges on the 21st, stay in Bruges until the 23rd, take a train from Bruges to Ghent on the 23rd, stay in Ghent until the 25th, take a train from Ghent to Amsterdam on the 25th, stay in Amsterdam until the 29th, fly from Amsterdam to London on the 29th, stay in London until the 31st, and fly home the 31st (wow, that was a mouthful). Including all of our flights, trains, and AirBnbs, we spent about $1260 for almost two weeks in Europe. That is not bad at all! 

Now packing was an ordeal. We decided going light was for the best. So I took a carry-on and a backpack. I have never packed that light in my life but I was so glad I did. We moved around a lot so I can't even imagine having more crap to lug around. I ended up packing two pair of pants, two pair of leggings, six shirts, two sweaters, two pair of boots, a pair of gym shoes, underwear (garments do not fold well, FYI), a hat, two scarves (two was a mistake, I should've just taken one), and a coat.  Thankfully, our BnB host in Amsterdam Margot had a washer and dryer so we were able to do laundry once. I'm sure Margot saw my G's and was like what the crap. Oh well. The coat I took was one of those packable coats that you can fit into a little bag. It was perfect! It kept me warm, was lightweight, and easily fit into a bag I attached to my backpack if I didn't want to wear it.

It was such a fun trip. It was different than every other trip I've taken to Europe. I think this was the first time that I had to really be responsible for myself. That sounds bad but it's true. When I went the first time, we were on a tour so everything was planned out. On study abroad, I had Jena, Rick, and Nate to tell me what to do. When I went with my family, my parents had planned it out and were running the show. This time, it was solely up to me and Sam to figure things out. And we are terrible at making decisions! But we figured it out and we didn't get taken or anything so it was good. It was tiring sometimes but it was also fun to figure things out for ourselves and learn from our mistakes. 

Some random things I did or learned on this trip: 
1) We had "I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes! Christmas is all around us and so the feeling shows!" from Love Actually stuck in our heads pretty much the whole trip.
2) I have never watched that much TLC in my entire life. Say Yes to the Dress Bridesmaid version is my new favorite thing. 
3) During winter in Europe, there isn't much to do at night. Things close at like 6:00. 
4) Dominos in Belgium isn't very good but it'll do when you're starving. 
5) Stairs are very steep in Europe. Like what is that about? Don't they have safety codes or something? 
6) Hot chocolate in Belgium is life changing. I will never drink that powder crap ever again. 
7) I'm a pretty good Instagram husband, whatever that means?
8) Chili lime chocolate is actually not that bad.  
9) If you haven't ridden a bike in years and you're forced to ride one in Amsterdam, your butt will hurt. 
10) If you want a bus to stop at your stop, you have to press the stop button (More details to come - we're special). 

I don't know if I'll ever go back to Belgium or Amsterdam but I got to cross things off my bucket list. London will always hold a special place in my heart. Anyway, stay tuned for the adventures of Sammie and Chawch! 

America is Pretty Cool Too, I Guess

Apparently I haven't posted in about two years. It is crazy how time flies. So much has changed in my life, yet I don't think I've changed much at all. Probably the biggest change for me personally was that I graduated from college in May 2017. It hasn't really hit me yet. It'll probably hit when everyone goes back later this month or has homework to do and I don't. Going to school has been my life for the last 18 years or so. It's definitely strange to be done. I might go back for my MBA but I'm not even going to think about it for a while. I went through the temple and got my endowments out on August 3, 2016. It was an amazing experience and I'm so grateful I did it. I also moved out last year. I live about two minutes away from my parents but it still counts. I live with my best friend Amanda and another awesome girl Danielle who has become a great friend as well. Moving out has helped me become more independent and really help me discover who I am. Plus I have a killer closet so that's cool.

In the meantime, my family has gone through a lot of changes. My sister Jessica has two kids - an almost two year old named Darcy Rae (named after me, suck it Amanda!) and a four month old named Arden James (we call him AJ for short). They are super cute. My other sister Alex married a man named Johan who has two kids, Kaiya and Kyson. Al is also pregnant with a baby girl, she is due in September. So I will have five nieces and nephews within two years, which is pretty awesome. My brothers CJ and Wes returned home from their LDS missions. They always keep things fun. My parents are still the same wonderful people who I appreciate more and more every day. Family is everything.

So in the last couple of years, I've traveled a lot in the United States. It's funny, I've traveled to more places out of the country than I have in the States. But I've discovered America is pretty cool too. In March of 2016, before my sister got married and started having kids and crap, my parents took us to Florida to visit Disney World and Universal Studios. As you know, Disney holds a special place in my heart and I will always love it. It was fun to visit another Disney park and see the similarities and differences. Dad ate an excessive amount of tiramisu from the Lady and the Tramp Tony's restaurant. I really liked the Aninal Kingdom, the Everest ride is the freaking best! The Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs Mine ride was super cute.

Universal Studios was awesome - if I could live in Harry Potter world and drink Butterbeer all day, I would. We went to Ollivander's for the wand choosing ceremony. Since there was no children in our group and I was standing in the front row with a huge smile on my face, wide eyes, and practically bouncing up and down, naturally they picked me. It was a dream come true. After trying a few different wands, I found the perfect one. And by perfect, I mean there was a gust of wind, a light shining down on me, and the sweet sounds of John Williams music serenading me. I geeked out very hard in that moment. The wand that chose me is a 13 1/8 inch ivy wood wand with unicorn hair, strong and resilient. Al and I ran around performing spells, riding the Hogwarts Express, and drinking Butterbeer while Mom and Dad just followed us, laughing at how ridiculous we are. I spent way too much money on Extendable Ears, Howlers, Chocolate Frogs, and Hufflepuff garb (we are particularly good finders!) but it was totally worth it. The Dr. Suess land in Universal Studios is also super cute.

In November, my crazy sister Al decided to elope with Johan in Las Vegas. I've driven through Vegas a million times on the way to Disneyland but I haven't stayed there and gone down the Strip for a long time. They did the whole Vegas elope thing with Elvis marrying them in front of the Bellagio fountains. It was hilarious and one of the strangest things we've ever done but it's a cool story. People walking down the Strip kept stopping and taking pictures of us. We took Bree, an eleven year old girl who has been part of the family since she was six months old, with us which probably wasn't the best idea. My mom was walking down the Strip covering CJ and Bree's eyes to shelter them from the pasties. Vegas isn't my favorite place but it was a fun weekend trip.

Because my sister can't just be a normal person and get married down the street, we also went to Cancun, Mexico so she could have her beach wedding. Really, it was just a family vacation but Al has to make everything about her (just kidding Al... hehe). Cancun is a paradise and I was able to escape a very busy and stressful last semester of college for a week and get super sunburnt on the beach. I went parasailing for the first time and it was awesome! We also swam with some dolphins. I also discovered a new drink called Miami Vice - it's a Pina Colada and Strawberry Daquiri mixed. It's so good! Unfortunately, I discovered it 30 minutes before we left. But you better believe I downed five of those suckers before we left. And yes, Al did walk down the aisle to the same song Bella did to in Twilight. I will never let her live that one down.

Because I have the best parents in the world, my next trip was in May of 2017. We went to New York to celebrate my graduation. It's been a lifelong dream of mine to go to New York and it definitely didn't disappoint. Traveling with my parents is very interesting. Don't get me wrong, it is very nice, especially since my mom refuses to stay in a hotel with less than four stars. But my parents like the things they like and don't really like to try new things. I mean, we ate at Applebee's. Twice. Granted, my mom does have a lot of food allergies so she has to be careful but still. We stayed in Time Square which was awesome. It reminded me a lot of Vegas. My dad is so freaking cool and took me to see Hamilton. It was absolutely amazing. We went to a Yankee game which was another dream of mine. I held a very drunk girl's beer and foam finger while she went to the bathroom. We did the Top of the Rock, got lost on our way to Little Italy, got harassed by little Chinese women in China Town, checked out Alexander Hamilton's grave at Trinity Church, did an Endowment session at the Manhattan LDS temple, went to the 9/11 Museum and Memorial, and saw the naked cowboy in Times Square. It was an awesome trip.

And last but not least, I just got back from a trip to Yellowstone with my roommates Amanda and Danielle. I went when I was really little with my family but I don't remember it at all. We left on Thursday afternoon and got back Sunday afternoon. We stayed in West Yellowstone at the Evergreen Motel. I'm not going to lie, I was a little nervous about the motel. It was pretty cheap and well, it's a motel. But I was pleasantly surprised! It was actually pretty nice. We got there on Thursday night around 10:30. While we were getting stuff out of the car, a fox ran across the street with garbage in its mouth and ran into the trees. Amanda's face could not have been more priceless. She was like well I've seen all I need to see, we might as well go home now! It was hilarious. We hit up several different hot spots, drove through the beautiful forests while rocking out to Hamilton and Disney, saw Old Faithful finally go off after waiting an hour and a half (it was really anti-climatic), hammocked by the lake for a few hours (which is my new favorite thing), and stopped by the canyon and saw the falls, it was beautiful! We also saw a bear, deer, a wolf, and a few buffalo. We went to the Bear and Wolf Discovery Center and we also stopped by Bear World on the way home. It was a super fun and relaxing trip. It really was beautiful. Plus, the trip cost $240 which is a steal!

So I have discovered that America is pretty cool too. It definitely has its perks while traveling too - you don't have to pay for extra cell service, you understand the language (for the most part), and you use the same currency. It's been a fun few years and I'm so grateful for all the experiences I have had and the people I have met. I am heading to Europe again in January with my good friend and travel buddy Sam. We will be hitting up London (of course), Belgium, and the Netherlands. Stay tuned!